Turner Taunts Harper

President Harper flipped out today at caucus, delivering a threatening diatribe to cowering MPs and cabinet ministers about loose lips. He then proceeded to boot maverick MP Garth Turner out of caucus to sit as an Independent.

The President was steaming mad, according to highly placed sources, and threatened to roll more heads if MPs try and remove their muzzles. Freedom of speech is an ugly phrase in the Republican-Conservative caucus, said the source. Harper was not happy with attacks against him and other MPs by the outspoken MP from Halton, Ont., whose blog is a daily source of gruel for political watchers.

The President`s day got off to a bad start, according to one of his pet cats who roams freely at 24 Sussex Drive. Harper clutched his chest after seeing the front page of a national newspaper that showed his republican party is on the skids with Canadians.

The skipper of the Repulican-Conservative Minnow was none too happy and he kicked a chair, said the cat. He later went to caucus and kicked Turner . . . out of caucus.