President Harper's Paranoia

President Harper is showing signs of a man losing control.

Dogged by controversies ranging from Reform-Alliance and Conservative MPs shagging 18-year-old pages, to Fawning Affairs Minister Peter MacKay's dog bark heard around the world to an environmental plan that won't kick in until the next Ice Age, the cat lover appears to be losing his marbles.

The control freak's latest edict from White House North is to strip visitors to cabinet minister offices of all cell phones and blackberries. Today, Traitor Minister Dave Emerson was the first cabinet flunkie to pat down a visiting delegation for electronic devices.

Representatives from the Canadian Labour Congress were given the rubber-glove welcome prior to a meeting with the West Coast marmot who sold the Canadian forestry industry to President Harper's banjo-playing cousin in Washington.