Harper A Tasteless Chicken

President Harper has yet again ruffled international feathers by chickening out on key meetings with European leaders.

What insiders in Ottawa are calling The Squawk Heard Around The World, the yellow President cancelled his participation in a Canada-European Union summit in Finland later this month because he feared be would be internationally spanked for miserably failing the world on an environmental policy to curb global warming.

The President, of course, has no environmental policy with the exception of a draconian Republican-Conservative plan by the dimmest bulb in Canadian prime ministerial history to impose fines on Canadians who fart and burp.

The president's refusal to attend the meetings was met with international condemnation. He was lampooned in editorial cartoons from China to Hawaii.

Radio talk shows were lit up with outrage by green Canadians who lost their retirement incomes last week after the President deliberately broke an election promise not to tinker with income trusts.

It is well known around Ottawa that the President doesn't believe global warming exists. He argues there is no science to prove the world is getting warmer, oceans are rising, and glaciers are melting.

He also believes Elvis is alive and living in Tweed, Ont.