Is That A Pickle In Your Pants?

Minister of Who Really Knows Anymore Vic Toews appears to be in a bit of pickle these days - largely because of where he stuck his Dill, and we're not talking about the woman who has filed for divorce against the failed former justice minister.

It seems the champion of family values who represents Bible thumpers somewhere in Manitoba is vying for a job as a judge as he looks for a diamond paved off-ramp from Parliament Hill.

We can give the twit credit for floating his resume around after failing to cut the grade in President Harper's B-Team cabinet, but trying to land a job as judge is fucking insane for the empty cranium.

One must have judgment to become a judge. Toews apparently has none.

Just look at his personal life.

He was dumped as justice minister, but not before using his influence to promote a friend (remember the pickle) to a judgeship in Manitoba.

His wife has had enough of the wandering pickle, and new concerns have been raised about his steamy relationship with a Republican Conservative staffer in Ottawa.

The good news is that it appears Toews will be eligible for Harper's after tax $71 a month in child-care assistance.

Keep it up Vic.

And if your pickle could fly, we would suggest signing up for Aeroplan. You'd fly for free from now on.

Potty Mouth Poilievre Poops On Sex Change

Republican Conservative MP Pierrette Poilievre says he wants the federal government to step in and prevent Ontario from funding sex reassignment surgery.

The diaper-clad Ottawa-area embarrassment apparently had a bold idea on the weekend while undergoing a new round of potty training after failing the last class.

With finger up arse (he again forgot to use toilet paper and thus will likely fail present course) Poilievre is calling on Big Jim Flaherty to stop health transers to Ontario if funds are used for reassignment surgery.

We just hope Flaherty doesn't cancel funding for lobotomies. Because Poilievre should at atop the list for one.

And speaking of sex reassignment surgery, did the dimwittwed dork talk to his boss John Baird - the minister responsible for global warming and hot air.

Methinks Baird, the blustering blabbermouth and poster boy for environmental inaction, might have something to say about sex reassignment surgery to In and Out boy Poilievre.

He just has to come out long enough to share his true views.

In and Out. In and Out. In and Out.