President Harper Turns Tricks

There were a few tense moments between President Harper and the First Lady this weekend while the two were carving pumpkins to spruce up the cat house at 24 Sussex in preparation for Halloween.

The lesser President was at odds at what costume or mask he should wear to greet the hordes of little goblins ans ghouls expected at the drafty Presidential retreat overlooking the Ottawa River.

The Republican-Conservative President said he wanted to wear something that would really scare the kids and make them forget who was President. The First Lady wanted him to greet the little ones as himself.

Scary, sure, but not enough to really frighten trick and treaters.

After much thought and a few phone calls, the President poked himself in forehead, grunted duh, and said Holy Illiterate Adults Batman I think I've got the perfect mask to send the wee ones scurrying.

A puzzled First Lady looked at her Prize, turned off her Moped and waited for his response. John Baird, he finally blurted, referring to Treasury Board Bully John Beard. The President said Beard is so frightening he puts the scare in scary.

NOTE TO CHILDREN thinking of heading to the cat house for candy: Make sure the President puts more into your bag then he takes out.