Pussy Galore In Republican-Conservative Ranks

How far is President Harper's chief mime willing to go to pucker up to her Republican-Conservative actionless figurine?

Pretty far, say kitty litter enthusiasts.

As the world knows, President Harper spends more time with his cats than his children, a relationship that has not gone unnoticed by Sandra Buckler, the President's muted director of communist communications.

The much disrespected Buckler (just ask anyone in the National Press Gallery and Hill staffers) has been on the outs with those in the White House North bunker for months for her increasingly strange behaviour.

With the walls closing in around the former manicurist, Buckler hatched one of her more brilliant ideas to ingratiate herself with the lesser President, a cat lover, and save a job she should have been fired from months ago.

Host a birthday party for her feline, Sophie.

That's right, the genius sent an e-mail to all her friends (three at last count) inviting them to a gathering to celebrate the cat's eighth year in Buckler's custody.

"We're hoping you can join us . . . for a Cinq a Sept in the birthday kitty's honour. We will have tasty treats, fancy drinks and a warm and inviting environment," the dopey Buckler meowed in the intercepted e-mail.

Apparently, a pack of cats on days passes from the SPCA showed up at the event with a troop of Republican Conservative pussies in tow.

Guests were taught the fine art of how to scoop cat shit from kitty litter boxes and how to hide the smell of cat piss.

Bravo Buckler. Your job is safe for another day.