Harper Chef Buries Cat, Wins Lawsuit Against President

Taxpayers got hit in the hubcaps again today after paying out a wrongful dismissal suit filed by a former chef to President Harper when the Republican Conservative leader lived at Stornoway, the official residence of the opposition leader.

Henrik Lundsgaard was left behind at the drafty mansion in Rockliffe Park when the President temporarily moved into the cat mansion at 24 Sussex Drive.

Lundsgaard sued Harper and his Beard-loving wife, claiming the hand-shaking couple unfairly fired him after promising him the chance to operate a new dishwasher at 24 Sussex.

In court documents, the Easy-Bake oven expert claimed the Harpers asked him to perform a number of duties unrelated to the kitchen, such as ferrying the Harper brats off to school, dropping off laundry soaked in cat piss at the dry cleaners and even burying the family cat when it died. ($100 to anyone who can find the skeletal remains of the cat burried somewhere on the Stornoway property).

The traumatized chef claimed the firing was professionally embarrassing and caused him to seek medical help for his noggin.

He was all smiles today after winning the case against the President.

"It's a victory for all chefs," Lundsgaard decried outside court. "The President does not need a chef. He should just move closer to a McDonald's. That's all he eats anyway. Just look at him. Mon dieu."