Rev. Ted Haggard Not Gay Anymore
Republican Conservatives were sipping champagne today after news rocketed out of Denver that Rev. Ted Haggard, a spiritual advisor to Republican Conservatives everywhere, including Canada, was no longer a doped up sex fiend with a thirst for male hookers.
"He is completely heterosexual," said Rev. Tim Ralph, one of four pulpit bangers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counselling for the disgraced minister.
Haggard, of course, gained celebrity status, after lying about and then apologizing for taking drugs and having sex with male prostitutes after a lifetime crusading against taking drugs and having sex with male prostitutes.
Haggard, who is married, resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last year after the allegations surfaced.
He was also forced out from the New Life Church that he founded after Mike Jones alleged Haggard paid him for sex and sometimes used methamphetamine when they were boffing.
It's amazing how a few weeks at a spa can change a person. Welcome back Ted.
"He is completely heterosexual," said Rev. Tim Ralph, one of four pulpit bangers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counselling for the disgraced minister.
Haggard, of course, gained celebrity status, after lying about and then apologizing for taking drugs and having sex with male prostitutes after a lifetime crusading against taking drugs and having sex with male prostitutes.
Haggard, who is married, resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last year after the allegations surfaced.
He was also forced out from the New Life Church that he founded after Mike Jones alleged Haggard paid him for sex and sometimes used methamphetamine when they were boffing.
It's amazing how a few weeks at a spa can change a person. Welcome back Ted.
posted by pain in the grits at 11:59 AM
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