Dictionaries Add New Definitions

Officials at dictionary giants' Oxford And Webster's huddled behind closed doors this week to draft drastic changes to their respective books of meanings.

Editors say President Harper's Republican Conservatives have forced key changes to the definitions of liars, morons, and feckless (as in idiots).

In future, say editors close to the historic rewrites, the definiton of liar will include a photo of the lesser President's cabinet and his monkey troop of back-bench MPs, otherwise known as gutless, muzzled sheep. Step forward all Republican Conservative MPs from Atlantic Canada and Saskatchewan.

Moron will now come with a photo of Peter Van Lunatic, the failed former president of the Progressive Conservative party and the whiniest voice inside Parliament.

And the definition of feckless idiots, say editors, will apply to the entire Conservative caucus, who collectively with the help of House of Commons Lame Duck Speaker Peter Milliken, have brought international shame and humiliation on an institution that once stood proud in the eyes of the world.