President Harper's Armed Gang That Can't Shoot Straight

President Harper has brought the Wild West to the doorstep of Parliament with an advisory body of gun-toting misfits who have been deputized to kill gun control in Canada.

An exposé in the Toronto Star today has sent shockwaves through urban Canada as the lesser President looks for ways to make it easier for his gunslinging followers to arm themselves in the best Timothy McVeigh fashion.

Harper is a big fan of guns, tanks, war, Gomer Pyle and the phrase: Go ahead, make my day!

The jilted cat lover (Why did you leave me Cheddar?) has rubber-stamped an advisory body with a mandate to put a gun in the hand of every Canadian.

So it's no wonder the likes of Dr. Mike Ackerman, a Dirty Harry wannabe but more like a Gunsmoke Festus, are on the panel secretly assembled by Public Jet Skiing Minister Doris Day.

His comments below pretty much sum up the mandate of right-wing gang that can't shoot straight.

"If even one per cent of the students and staff at Virginia Tech had been allowed to exercise their right to self defense, then this tragedy would have been stopped in its very beginning and dozens of lives would have been saved," the trigger-happy medicine ball wrote in a letter published in April.

"There are never any mass killings at shooting ranges; only at schools and other so-called 'gun-free zones,' " he continued.

A copy of the panel's mandate was leaked to The Pain.

Among other things, the panel of gunpowder snorting Republican Conservatives has been asked to look at getting rid of:

(1) Police. No need for cops when Canadians can just point and shoot to settle their differences.

(2) Shooting ranges. The neighbor's garbage cans are closer.

(3) Kevlar vests. They would stop a bullet.

(4) Divorce court. Settle it with a slug.

Welcome to President Harper's version of U.S.A. north folks.