How Red Will The President's Face Be Today?

President Harper blew yet another gasket this morning after Minister Responsible for Hot Air and Global Warming John Bully Beard completely bungled the release of the Republican Conservative inaction plan on the environment.

Tomorrow's budget-style announcement in Toronto has been thrown into chaos and confusion after a senior Beard staffer faxed the limp plan to the Liberal Opposition lobby Tuesday night.

A House of Commons page smartly delivered the greenless document to Liberal environment critic David McGuinty, thinking it was for him since there was nothing on the document to suggest otherwise.

Then all Hell broke loose.

Plainclothes House of Commons detectives arrived in the lobby looking for the lost papers.

Then an urgent fax was sent from the Department of the Environment trying to retrieve the fuck-up that originated in Beard's office of climate deniers.

Then McGuinty held a late-night news conference to bring to the attention of Canadians how careless and irresponsible ministers are on the lesser President's front bench.

And while Republican Conservative communication mimes were neck high in damage control, another catastrophe struck.

Poncho wearing dipsy doodlers in the NDP found yet another abandonned Republican Conservative document "lying" around Parliament Hill.

Unfuckingbelieveable.

The lefties unearthed a secret plan by the lesser President's cabal to create a $30 million summer festival fund to help Republican Conservative MPs buy favour in their ridings. A boondoggle in the making.

And the document was just lying there like a discarded bubble-gum wrapper.

And let's not forget, Republican Conservatives left thousands of documents behind in their former offices when they raced over to the PMO to take dibs on office space after the last election.

What is it with Republican Conservatives and documents?

Get a shredder for fuck's sake.