Birth Control Could Have Saved Us From Ezra Levant

The are so many twerps in the Republican Conservative ranks around President Harper they are too numerous to count.

But the deepest sphincter has got to be Ezra Levant, the juvenile wedgie who was chased out of Ottawa years ago for a number of reasons, including his inability to score with chicks like his Viagara energized roomie Rahim Jaffer.

While Jaffer was humping his brain out in one room, Levant would be sitting all alone in another watching a rerun of Happy Days while sucking on a soother and playing with floppy while dreaming of Preston Manning.

But what makes Levant a true king of assholes is using his unexplained place as a right-wing, Charlton Heston-loving, hack journalist (and we use the word lightly) to ink smear Liberal MP Mark Holland in some dumbass right-wing rag most people wouldn't let a hamster poop on.

(Networks no longer call the boob because ratings plunge every time he opens his pie hole and children run screaming to their mommies).

With a face for radio (where is Harper's make-up artist when you need one), the arrogant prick's latest salvo boggles the mind.

Memo to bespectacled midget and floppy flipper: Holland did not steal documents from President Harper's Republican Conservatives.

Harper and his team of misfits left them behind after winning what will be the last election under the lesser President, a cat lover and crystal ball gazer with a panchant for eye liner.

Get it moron: You fuckheads left them behind, scattered like litter around a huge office. Thousands of them. Liberals were left to put them in boxes because twerps like you couldn't Get The Job Done.

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

And now the feckless dweeb is writing that Holland has threatened legal action for Levant's allegations that the MP is a criminal.

He has the nerve to suggest that Holland's legal challenge is something Liberals do when they are caught doing something wrong.

Holland did everything right, even returning the documents that included personnel files on lazy Conservative staffers who still can't find the first-floor washroom in the Centre Block.

But what Levant didn't say is that the likes of Minister of Hot Air and Global Warming John Bully Beard have an account at the Conservative law firm Lang Michener.

The account is used regularly by Beard and other doorstop Conservatives to send legal chill letters to anyone who challenges them.

We just hope the Liberals kept Levant's personnel file.

We hear his performance as a toilet bowl cleanser was substandard.

In fact, one appraiser said Levant was even unfit to wipe the ass of Sheryl Crow, using one ply, one square.