Doris Day: A Red Faced Boob

The Barney loving cabinet minister (who should be the target of an RCMP investigation by his employees by now) showed yet again why the lights are dimming on the front benches of President Harper's cabinet of muzzled Republican Conservative knuckle draggers.

Stockwell Doris Day, a cave dweller, and global warming denier, had so much egg on his face today he looked like the splattered mess of the lesser President's pet cat smeared across the hull of his jet ski.

The head of the Canadian national police force that can't shoot straight is the laughing stock today at Interpol, MI5, CIA, Scotland Yard and the lone police constable in Dildo, Nfld.

In case you hadn't heard, Doris, the public safety pin minister, got a big woody when RUMOURS swirled that a ship heading to Halifax was carrying hundreds of stowaways seeking to sneak into Canada.

Day, a student of the often amusing and utterly ridiculous security reports by the fearmongering Liberal Senator Colin Kenney, sought to make headlines by slipping into a negligee, er, Halifax under the cover of a news blackout to pounce on asylum seekers once the ship reached port.

Agent 86, or Agent Orange as he is known in the department and a Remax agent in others, was hoping to cash in on what he fantasized would be his lasting legacy - the man behind the break-up of the world's largest human smuggling ring.

Unfortunately for Doris, the photo-op did not happen, nor did the planned news conference with the RCMP, local cops and immigration officials.

There were no stowaways. Not one. Not even an underage sailor.

The only illegal on the ship was Doris, a deflated caricature of himself, a boob in ministerial clothes, the Inspector Clousseau of Canadian intelligence gathering.

Que Sera, Sera.

Hey Doris, how much did taxpayers pay for the wayward search for phantom stowaways?