Harper Runs For Cover:Uses Cat As Shield

Some embarrassing moments for President Harper this morning.

After taking his cat, Cheddar, out for a stroll on the grounds of his cat mansion at 24 Sussex Drive, several Greenpeace activists arrived outside the gates of the leaking manor and demanded the President live up to Kyoto.

(They were also pissed that the President's Communist goon squad broke with democratic tradition by refusing Greenpeace and other environmental groups critical of the President's waffling on the environment access to budget lock-ups on the Hill.)

Harper, who has not looked into the eyes of a real Canadian since taking minority office last year,(he only speaks to partisan crowds), nearly fell over the cat when the protesters jeered at him before chaining themselves to the main gate.

Harper yanked the cat leash and lifted Cheddar right off the ground into his arms and scurried like a rat leaving a sinking ship into the mansion, using the feline as a shield.

"It was quite a sight," said a source on the PMPD (Prime Minister's Personal Detail). "The guy ran faster than Ben Johnson on steroids and the way he flung the cat off the ground was something to see."

The lesser President, who gave his best Richard Nixon impersonation of a profusively sweating President (I am not a crook), during a speech Saturday at a Republican-Conservative booty camp in Toronto, was resting comfortably after his ordeal.

Cheddar, meanwhile, pissed all over the carpet in the main foyer - his way of saying: "Leashes are for dogs putz."