President Harper's Cat Bids Adieu

Sad news outta President Harper's taxpayer-funded cat mansion on the Ottawa River.

His famed tabby Cheddar is enjoying a healthy diet of poison-free mice in a place where armed cops in red serge don't watch your every move.

Cheddar is toast, say sources at 24 Sussex Drive where the tabby was unduly humiliated a few weeks ago when environmental activists tried to storm the grounds at the mansion. (See item below).

In other words, Cheddar is dead.

It was not clear at press time how the famed pussy met his maker.

Rumours were rampant Cheddar jumped off the cliff at the back of the mansion to the icy Ottawa River waters below.

Another suggested he got his paws on a Mountie revolver and pulled the plug that way.

Another suggested the lesser President, a cat lover, accidentally rolled over the feline in his sleep.

And there is the potential Cheddar was the victim of carelessness by those who kept feeding him tainted cat food despite an international recall.

One thing is for sure: It's not how Cheddar died, it's the fact he is now in a better place.

In lieu of Whiskas, financial donations can be sent to the Foundation To Save Cats From President Harper Everywhere.

Also, no word on whether the President buried the cat on the grounds at 24 Sussex. He buried another dead cat on the grounds at Stornoway when he wasn't President.