Poilievre Fit To Be A Bell Boy

Nepean-Carleton residents will be glad to hear that their diaper-clad MP is excelling at his new duties in the House of Commons when he is not telling other MPs to F... off or giving them the finger or challenging them to fist fights.

Pierre Poilievre, the potty-mouthed Republican-Conservative MP, page letch, and all-round door jam, has been busy training for a new career when Ottawa-area voters turf the self satisfying grease ball from office.

Hill watchers roared with laughter the other day when Treasury Board Bully John Beard turned to his parliamentary secretary in the Commons and muttered something unintelligible. Diaper boy sits directly behind the official spokesman for hair weave products.

Poilievre jumped to his feet and ran out of the Commons, only to return a few moments later carrying a legal briefcase. He handed the case over to Beard.

He's a bag fetcher for Beard, roared those in the gallery who witnessed the shameless display of ass kissing.

The International Association of Bell Boys salutes you Pierre Poilievre.

A spokesperson for Union Station in Toronto said they were keeping a spot open for the up and coming Red Cap.

"He has found his true calling. He showed speed, control and dexterity in the way he fetched Beard's bag," the train station spokesman said. "The only negative is that he didn't wait around long enough for a tip."