Bully Beard Pulls Hair Out Of Weave

Treasury Board Bully John Beard pulled the hair out of his weave today when a picture of President Harper posing in Vietnam in a traditional silk tunic embroidered with golden lotus flowers landed on his desk.

Beard was so outraged that the President got to wear a pastel blue ao dai, a flowing garment that is worn exclusively by women, that he ordered staffers to run to the nearest La Senza to see if they could find a matching outfit.

Beard's jealous rage was the talk of the town when staffers returned with no silk garments for their boss. He was still locked in a washroom and sulking at press time.

The Daily Telegraph reported that on a slender female form, the ao dai, a clinging piece of clothing slit to above the hip, is simultaneously elegant and alluring.

When sported by paunchy middle-aged Caucasian men like President Harper, it is substantially less flattering as the picture that landed on Baird's desk shows.

It sure was Gutsy on the part of President Harper to wear the outfit. He Pulled No Punches slipping into the number. He threw a few when officials asked for the garment back.