Butt Faxing Haunts MacKay

Fawning Affairs Minister Peter MacKay is back at his permanent desk in the wood shed today after being accused of abusing public funds by allowing his daddy, Elmer Fudd MacKay, to improperly use a fax machine at McMouth's constituency office in Central Nova.

The elder MacKay, a former cabinet toadie of little notice during the despised tenure of former prime minister Brian Mulroney, is accused of using the riding fax machine to transmit letters defending his Oktoberfest pretzel-eating partner Karlheinz "Airbus" Schreiber.

As the world knows, the soon-to-be-kicked-out-of-Canada German businessman is entangled in the Republican-Conservative Airbus scandal, one of the many billion-dollar scandals President Harper's mentor oversaw during his glory days as the baritone PM.

(Mulroney, as every history book shows, grossly mismanaged the public purse during his tenure, leaving Canada with a $42 billion deficit by the time voters turfed all but two of his MPs out of office in 1993).

According to the House of Commons guidelines Republican-Conservatives like MacKay abuse all the time, MPs must strictly use office equipment for parliamentary functions and not as toys for parents of disgraced MPs who call female MPs dogs.

Fudd MacKay abused the fax machine in 2005 when his legitimate offspring (even though cross bearer Republican-Conservative MP Helena Guergis says he was raised solely by his mother, sisters and wolves) was an opposition MP.

The shameful indiscretion is being investigated at the highest levels of the RCMP - The Musical Ride. Charges are pending.