Harper Calls Boy George

President Harper was in a sour mood today, just like every day for the cat lover, but today was different as he watched his Republican mentors south of the 49th lose their family values' grip on the nation's business.

Apparently humping Congressional pages and and lying about rampant crystal meth drug use and boffing male prostitutes the GOP way didn`t sit well with the electorate.

The lesser President called his American Idol early this morning to commisserate about widely expected election defeats for the war mongerer. President Harper's top mime sent this blogger a copy of the transcript.

"Yeah, I'm trying to track down my Boy George."

"Who may I say is calling?"

"President Harper."

"Who?"

"You know, Steve, the President of the 51st state."

"I'll put you through."

"Steve, is that really you?"

"It's me Dubya. Thought I would call to see how you are doing."

"I'm losing it Steve."

"Canadians have been saying that about you for years, but I keep lying to them saying it's not true."

"I was talking about control Steve. You know, the Congress."

"Don't worry about it. You are still in charge."

"But I am a lameduck, Steve."

"So. I've been a lameduck since January when I fooled Canadians into voting for me on the promise I wouldn`t touch income trusts and I would do something about the environment among a whole bunch of other lies I conjured up to win a minority."

"I need you to hold me Steve. Can you come to Washington?"

"Whoa there cowboy. I am no Mark Foley or Ted Haggard. But I think John Baird and Jason Kenney are free."

"Thanks old friend and thanks for that $1.5 billion you gave me off the top of the softwood deal."

"Consider it a downpayment."