Cops Set To Cuff John Bully Baird

Minister of Environmental Disasters John Baird is about to win the lottery of his life as the police net around him tightens.

A screaming headline in a major Ottawa newspaper today fingers Baird and other senior advisors to President Harper in the Ottawa mayoral bribery caper.

Baird, the newspaper reports, is the new focus of an Ontario Provincial Police investigation into allegations that Mayor Larry, Curly and Moe O'Brien offered a bribe to another candidate to get him to drop out of the race last year.

The cops are probing an alleged evening last summer at the overpriced Hy's Steakhouse reportedly attended by O'Brien and Baird, an Ottawa area MP who likes to do most of his partying in Toronto away from prying eyes in Ottawa.

Baird says he never met them at the restaurant, though The Pain hears witnesses have seen Baird and O'Brien and other high-ranking advisors to the lesser President in the restaurant private dining areas.

While the cops close in on Baird, the former Treasury Board princess was overheard the other day saying that a stint in prison would be like winning a lottery.

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