Harper Shoves Typewriter Up Ass of Press Gallery

President Harper's open feud with the National Press Gallery got nastier today when the cat loving chump ordered his secretary to issue a few terse words on a used condom announcing that he was bailing on the gallery's annual dinner on Oct. 27.

The lesser President then called the Governor General and threatened her that if she wanted to continue pruning the roses at Rideau Gate she too should tell the gallery executive to piss up a rope. She dropped her shears and made the call.

Then the hapless Harper ordered his ministers to also send their regrets. And then staffers were told they would be fired if they attended.

Has Canada ever had such a diaper-wearing sissy in the Langevin Block.

A fucking wet baby.

A fucking disgrace.

Now the gallery is left with a dilemma.

Should the booze-fuelled rowdy night of jokes, food, and ass grabbing be scratched. Or should the gallery march on like good soldiers.

We at The Pain think the gallery should continue with the historic night and spend the night making fun of Baby Harper and the dickless seals that make up the front of his shorts.

Republican-Conservatives are no fun to party with anyways. All they want to talk about are guns, George Bush and jerking off.

As for Harper's excuse for not attending. Something about having John Baird over to wax each other's asses.