Playing Santa Saves New RCMP Commish

Opting not to wear the traditional Disneyland colours of the national horsemen at his swearing-in, Wild Bill Elliot, the new commish of the RCMP, has been in a funk since getting the top mount.

Insiders at the bunker on the Queensway say the non-cop has been pouting since he caved to pressure not to wear the traditonal red serge when he was sworn in at a special ceremony in the Musical Ride stables attended by a bylaw control officer.

Elliot, a Republican Conservative hack with no police training except the time he donned a Barney Fife costume for Halloween, had been looking forward to wearing the traditonal colours, shooting a pistol and getting shot with a tazer.

While he has been busy on the range learning how to load his Glock (press button, pull out clip, insert loaded clip, don't shoot self in foot) he's still yearning to wear red.

We would suggest frilly red panties, but a quick-thinking constable came up with a better suggestion that saved the day and put a smile back on the face of Wild Bill.

"What about playing Santa Claus at the annual RCMP Christmas party," the constable and soon-to-be superintendent mentioned to RCMP brass.

Problem solved.

Elliot was later overheard saying that he wished every day was Christmas.