Harper Gushes Over New Title

Finally, after nearly a year of informing Canadians that Steve Harper models himself after his American Idol George Bush, The Pain has been proven right.

The lesser President, a cat lover, was in New York recently lying to the world as he typically does when he steps outside the cat mansion at 24 Sussex Drive.

In a speech that left many representatives at the United Nations scratching their crotches and chugging coffee to stay awake, the hapless Harper squealed like a giddy school girl when the magical words were said in front of the world.

"Thank you President Harper," UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said after the lesser president uttered his last words on stage before heading to a fashionable Big Apple eatery to celebrate his new-found title.

After washing down a Big Mac, Quarter Pounder, fries, McNuggets and three apple pies with a chocolate shake, the lesser President belched loudly and told patrons to kneel before him to honour their President.

However, one patron, a gangsta rapper-type dude with gold studded nose piercings and a nine-millimetre, called Harper fat boy and told him to hand over his wallet.

"Fuck you Mr.Asshole. No one fucks with the Prez of this hood," the dude said before walking away.