Halloween Cancelled At Cat Mansion

A special investigations unit of the RCMP was summoned to the cat mansion at 24 Sussex Drive today to investigate the disappearance of candy.

Insiders at the limestone residence of President Harper, his wife, two kids, and 47 cats, say bowls of chocolate bars, jelly beans, tiny chip bags and packets of gumdrops vanished sometime during the day.

The alleged theft prompted the mimes in the PMO to cancel Halloween this evening, where the lesser President was set to dole out the goodies to ghosts and goblins beginning at 6:30 p.m.

While the Mounted horsemen were dusting the drafty mansion for clues, the Pain has discovered video evidence of a less then elaborate scheme to defraud the country's youngsters of taxpayer funded candy.

It appears the lesser President has been fingered as the candy thief. Crystal clear video shows the Republican Conservative slumped in a chair, belching like a sailor on shore leave after a night on the town.

Strewn about his slippered feet were dozens and dozens of candy wrappers and several overturned bowls and one smashed pumpkin.

Case closed.