Baird Bolts As Cops Close In

Minister Responsible For Hot Air and Gas Emissions John Baird was cowering behind a stand of palm trees in Indonesia today after the Ontario Provincial Police finally charged Ottawa Mayor Larry, Moe and Curly O'Brien with bribery.

O'Brien faces two counts, including one charge that raises serious questions about the involvement of key advisors around President Stephen Harper, including the loud mouth Baird - the world's greatest threat to the environment and thong use.

The cocky O'Brien invited cops to bust him on Friday, telling a city council that's about to toss him to the wolves for the cops to either shit or get off the pot.

The fuzz dumped a tractor load in his lap. Merry Christmas sucka.

The cops allege mayoral candidate Terry Kilrea was bribed with a position with the National Parole Board to drop out of the 2006 race. O'Brien denies any involvement.

The key question for the flatfoots to uncover is who in the Republican Conservative government of the lesser President Harper, a cat lover, could have made it happen.

Baird, an international spokesman for hair weave products an all-round climate change liar, denies being the federal go between. One wonders then why he is seeking asylum in Bali now that his pal O'Brien is looking at prison time if convicted.

President Harper's right-hand man, Doug Finley, and his left-hand, John Reynolds, also figure prominently in the bombshell scandal as does local diaper boy MP Pierre Poilievre, a Republican Conservative cry baby from Ottawa and long-time bag carrier for Baird.