Jack's Big Ass

Jack-in-the-Box Layton has finally signed on to President Harper's environmental plan to fine those who burp and fart while ignoring the real culprits causing global warming.

The Dippy lefty leader brought the House of Commons down this week when he produced hard facts in the Commons to support the Republican-Conservative argument that "Big Ass" is responsible for green house gas emissions.

Layton later told reporters in scrum that he blamed beans and burritos for the increase in emissions. He said the deadly combo of food stuffs should be outlawed.

"If you can set a fart aflame, then we have a problem. Blue Angels are the real threat facing the environment," Layton said in scrum.